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{"id":1233,"date":"2023-02-04T20:11:52","date_gmt":"2023-02-05T00:11:52","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/greatcanadianjokebook.com\/?post_type=text-joke&p=1233"},"modified":"2023-02-05T00:26:52","modified_gmt":"2023-02-05T04:26:52","slug":"dictionary-of-sorts","status":"publish","type":"text-joke","link":"https:\/\/greatcanadianjokebook.com\/text-joke\/dictionary-of-sorts\/","title":{"rendered":"Dictionary of Sorts"},"content":{"rendered":"

ADULT – A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.<\/p>\n

BEAUTY PARLOR – A place where women curl up and dye.<\/p>\n

CHICKENS – The only animal you eat before they are born and after they are dead.<\/p>\n

COMMITTEE – A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.<\/p>\n

DUST – Mud with the juice squeezed out.<\/p>\n

EGOTIST – Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.<\/p>\n

HANDKERCHIEF – Cold Storage.<\/p>\n

INFLATION – Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.<\/p>\n

MOSQUITO – An insect that makes you like flies better.<\/p>\n

POLITICAL CORRECTNESS – A doctrine fostered by a delusional, illogical minority.<\/p>\n

RAISIN – A grape with a sunburn.<\/p>\n

SECRET – A story you tell to one person at a time.<\/p>\n

SKELETON – A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.<\/p>\n

TOOTHACHE – The pain that drives you to extraction.<\/p>\n

TOMORROW – One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.<\/p>\n

YAWN – An honest opinion openly expressed.<\/p>\n

WRINKLES – Something other people have … similar to my character lines.<\/p>\n

<\/strong>ADULT – A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.<\/p>\n

BEAUTY PARLOR – A place where women curl up and dye.<\/p>\n

CHICKENS – The only animal you eat before they are born and after they are dead.<\/p>\n

COMMITTEE – A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.<\/p>\n

DUST – Mud with the juice squeezed out.<\/p>\n

EGOTIST – Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.<\/p>\n

HANDKERCHIEF – Cold Storage.<\/p>\n

INFLATION – Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.<\/p>\n

MOSQUITO – An insect that makes you like flies better.<\/p>\n

POLITICAL CORRECTNESS – A doctrine fostered by a delusional, illogical minority.<\/p>\n

RAISIN – A grape with a sunburn.<\/p>\n

SECRET – A story you tell to one person at a time.<\/p>\n

SKELETON – A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.<\/p>\n

TOOTHACHE – The pain that drives you to extraction.<\/p>\n

TOMORROW – One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.<\/p>\n

YAWN – An honest opinion openly expressed.<\/p>\n

WRINKLES – Something other people have … similar to my character lines.<\/p>\n

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