Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. Sadly,he sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him, she swam to the …
My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not happy with what she saw and said to me, “I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.” I replied, “Your eyesight’s darn near perfect.”
A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the …
I rear-ended a car this morning … the start of a REALLY bad day! The driver got out of the other car, and he was a dwarf! He looked up at me and said “I am NOT Happy!” So I said, “Well, which one are you then?”
