ADULT – A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle. BEAUTY PARLOR – A place where women curl up and dye. CHICKENS – The only animal you eat before they are born and after they are dead. COMMITTEE – A body that …
A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird’s chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, “I’m sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has …
A very old man lay dying in his bed. In death’s doorway, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favourite chocolate chip cookie wafting up the stairs. He gathered his remaining strength and lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the …
My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not happy with what she saw and said to me, “I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.” I replied, “Your eyesight’s darn near perfect.”
