I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous – everyone hasn’t met me yet. Rodney Dangerfield You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 today and we don’t know where the …
The Iranian Ambassador to the UN had just finished giving a speech and walked out into the lobby where he met the U.S. President. They shook hands, and as they walked the Iranian said, “You know, I have just one question about what I have seen in America.” The President …
A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, “I’d like to buy some cyanide.” The pharmacist asked, “Why in the world do you need cyanide?” The lady replied, “I need it to poison my husband.” The …
Finally a joke about Ontario that does not involve the losing Maple Leafs or the Sens! An Ontarian, a Prince Edward Islander and a Newfie all die and go to hell. While there, they spot a red phone and ask what the phone is for. The devil tells them it …