I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous – everyone hasn’t met me yet. Rodney Dangerfield You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 today and we don’t know where the …
It’s okay if you don’t laugh at my jokes. I’m use to doing show for deaf people … and wakes … and Pentecostal prayer meetings. I have to be careful at the prayer meetings. Every time I tell a joke with Jesus in it, as soon as they hear ‘Jesus,’ …
With time, women gain weight because we accumulate so much information and wisdom in our heads that when there is no more room, it distributes out to the rest of our bodies. So we aren’t heavy, we are enormously cultured, educated and happy. Beginning today, when I look at my …
One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweat-shirt, seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, “What setting do I use on the washing machine?” “It depends,” I replied. “What does it say on your shirt?” He yelled back, “University of Oklahoma .” And …
