I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous – everyone hasn’t met me yet. Rodney Dangerfield You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 today and we don’t know where the …
Some doctor on television this morning said that the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started. So I looked around my house to see things I’d started and hadn’t finished and, before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of …
A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon. Four worms were placed into four separate jars. The first worm was put into a container of alcohol. The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke. The third worm was put into a …
It’s okay if you don’t laugh at my jokes. I’m use to doing show for deaf people … and wakes … and Pentecostal prayer meetings. I have to be careful at the prayer meetings. Every time I tell a joke with Jesus in it, as soon as they hear ‘Jesus,’ …
