With time, women gain weight because we accumulate so much information and wisdom in our heads that when there is no more room, it distributes out to the rest of our bodies. So we aren’t heavy, we are enormously cultured, educated and happy. Beginning today, when I look at my …
ADULT – A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle. BEAUTY PARLOR – A place where women curl up and dye. CHICKENS – The only animal you eat before they are born and after they are dead. COMMITTEE – A body that …
A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird’s chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, “I’m sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has …
She was standing in the kitchen, preparing our usual soft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast, wearing only the “T” shirt that she normally slept in. As I walked in, almost awake, she turned to me and said softly, “You’ve got to make love to me this very moment!” My eyes …
